Stupid Drunk People

Tasering is not a violation of human rights when used against drunk people. If you’ve gotten so pissed that you don’t even realize that you’re defecating in the mall, then you need to be stopped and deserve to be tazered. You now owe society a debt which can only be recuperated by having 5,000 Volts transferred into your ass.

I’m sick of Liberals complaining that this is an inhumane punishment. What utter bullshit! If we didn’t clamp down on these reprobates they’d be marching around our city centers, pissing and puking on people on sight.

People caught drunk driving should be tasered continually for a number of hours until they swear to never drink drive again. We need to stop pussy footing about this issue and get a real grasp on it!

Consider yourself lucky that alcohol does not agree with you. If anyone mocks you for not being able to handle your booze, tell them that boozing is for losers!

Your best option is just quit altogether and stop associating with people who love alcohol. Social drinkers are terrible people who hate others who drink less and therefore reveal the true extent of their alcoholism. That’s why these people get hostile when you aren’t drinking fast enough. It’s not because they are angry at you as such, it’s because they are alarmed at what losers they truly are underneath.

Stay cool and keep to the Cokes. If anyone tries to put any liquor into your drink then be sure to report them to the police as this as bad as putting horse tranquilizer into someone’s glass.

Listen up punk, if you think that Alcohol will eliminate your inhibitions in public over the long term than you’re dead wrong! Alcohol only helps aggravate social anxiety. Sure it might calm you down for the first few drinks but after that, it starts ruining your mind.

You can’t feel at ease in public without having a drink and that leads you into drinking more just to feel normal and before you know it you’re locked into a downward spiral that you cannot reverse without the help of our savior Jesus Christ.

My advice is to be a god damn man and conquer your fears head on! Don’t be a damn pussy and hide behind the bottle otherwise I’m afraid you’re just another drone in this ruined society.

My old buddy Rosco died the other week aged only 55. We knew each other from college and were so close, until I got saved of course. However he was not ready to accept Christ into his life as the alcohol was much too important to him. The last time I seen the poor guy was at a bus stop. He looked awful. He was stood there as frail as a skeleton, trying to huff out alcohol out of a deodorant stick.

What makes me feel ashamed is that I ignored him! I should have went over to him and given him a proper old bear hug but at the time I just didn’t have the energy. Whenever I encounter drunk people I just get so angry and my bear hug probably would have turned into brutal retribution. None of it matters anymore, anyway now that he’s dead.

That doesn’t stop me missing the poor fellow.

This is for you Rosco, rest in peace buddy x.

This post is deeply personal to me, it brings me back to a period when I was a serious depraved individual. I’ve written this so that I never have to go back there and to warn YOU the reader away from ever going there.

1. Whenever I drank I used to have an unquenchable sexual appetite, so much so that I’d pretend to be a wild animal and start drinking out of toilets.
2. I used to have this thing for crapping in closets. Once my wife caught me taking a huge steamer over all of her clothes and she threw me out of the house and didn’t let me back in until morning.
3. I became an Atheist one time after drinking a quart of Vodka and went into a Christian chatroom pretending to be the devil, declaring that everyone inside were ‘faggots’, ‘harloting liars’ and ‘potential bum rapists’.
4. I had no qualms about urinating on other people’s property. One time my buddy Lithman gave me a lift home and I just whipped out my nozzle and started urinating in the back seat of his car. Christ, I was worse than a damn hobo back then.
5. I loved shoplifting when under the influence too. Only I wouldn’t steal expensive items. I’d normally just end up stealing 10, 30 cent candy bars. Either way, theft is theft under God’s eyes and there’s absolutely no excuse for it.

Folks, I can’t handle this anymore. My wife Pamela won’t stop staying out at late night parties, often coming home early in the morning in a serious state of undress. Whenever I ask her where she’s been she’s extremely hostile, often calling me a ‘fat pointless loser’ or a killjoy.

I’m at my wits end here! We don’t see eye to eye on anything anymore. I firmly believe that a woman’s place is in the kitchen whilst she has the bizarre notion that she should be allowed to have her own career to help support the family too. I honestly think she might be possessed by Satan. She certainly smells that way these days.

If only I could convince her how dangerous alcohol is then I might have a hope of saving our marriage, but until then I’m seriously worried about our future. I’m beginning to think that we don’t even have one together…

Where I live the culture revolves around nothing but alcohol. It sickens me to the core. There’s nothing much for young kids to be doing apart from hanging around street corners, boozing their sorry little heads off. Even if there was something righteous for these kids to be doing, they’d still opt for the boozing because they are sick in the head.

The media is to blame for making alcohol appear glamorous. I think it should be portrayed as the harmful drug it is in order to scare the hell out of kids. Any film that’s seen glamorizing alcohol should be banned immediately. Any celebrity who is seen out boozing in public should not be allowed to star in any other films until they’ve repented for their sins.

Our kids have no hope whilst we have such poor role models.

Well the last thing you wanna do is take another drink as that’s a sure fire sign of an alcoholic.

You need to contact the person you offended immediately and apologize to them profusely until either your or their ears are bleeding. After this you must swear never to take another drink ever again. It helps if you pray to Jesus with this bit as it makes it into a solemn oath.

Be sure to relive what you’ve done in your mind over and over again just to squeeze every last bit of shame out of your drunken exploits. Don’t believe your friends accounts of events as they’ll likely make you out to be a legend for urinating in some old ladies garden whilst pissed on draught beer.

All you can do is live out and have a grilled cheese sandwich, but hey that’s life for you!

Don’t drink in public, ya muppet! Seriously if I had my way I’d close down all bars and clubs and finally ban alcohol. There’s nothing worse than seeing someone drunk in public. Some people find it funny, but I see it as a moral travesty, an indictment on this warped society.

Instead of drinking, why not praise the Lord for giving you a healthy body and soul and sing His praises for once. Old Kevin here used to rebel against the Lord in this way and it caused Him so much harm it is almost unbearable to think about. I urinated myself so many times in public that it’s not remotely funny. I’d drink 12 pints of beer at a time and once I’d finished, I would curl up in the town square into a ball and urinate myself until there wasn’t a drop of it left in my body.

God I’m so ashamed of what I was!

Over 2,670 people have died in American soil so far this year from drink driving.

It’s a disgrace. I have absolutely no time for drunk drivers. Hell, I was one myself for a while and I’m lucky to still be alive. I’d drive home from work and a drink a litre of vodka during that time. I was pathetic. If I seen someone like that now I’d punch them in the face repeatedly for being so goddamn inconsiderate.

The government can’t be harsh enough about this.

I believe that if a kid applies for a driving licence and has ingested alcohol before in his life that he should be immediately refused a licence. We just can’t trust these people anymore. The statistics prove it.

If I’m capable of drink driving, then anyone is.

Be sure that if I see you drink driving on my patch then I’ll drag you out of your vehicle and close the door repeatedly on your head.

Hi I’m Kevin and I’m 43 and from Oklahoma used to be alcoholic for 12 long years. In that time I lost everything. Thankfully in 2006 I was saved by our Lord Jesus Christ after attending Alcoholics Anonymous.

I hate drinkers. I wish they’d stop drinking in public.

These people are absolute cowards. They just hit the bottle when the slightest thing goes wrong. Social drinkers are the worst. They have to drug themselves up until vomit is ready to explode out of their nostrils before even summoning the courage to enter a pub.

It’s my belief that all drinkers should be locked up in jail until they’ve sworn that they’ll never touch booze again.

I hate Ireland more than Hell. Why? Well it glamourises drinking and 80% of the population are alcoholics. I went to Dublin once and the people were unbelievable. I seen a man urinating in his own sock and throwing it at a police officer. There’s no excuse for behavior like this in this day in and age.