What makes me feel ashamed is that I ignored him! I should have went over to him and given him a proper old bear hug but at the time I just didn’t have the energy. Whenever I encounter drunk people I just get so angry and my bear hug probably would have turned into brutal retribution. None of it matters anymore, anyway now that he’s dead.

That doesn’t stop me missing the poor fellow.

This is for you Rosco, rest in peace buddy x.

1. Whenever I drank I used to have an unquenchable sexual appetite, so much so that I’d pretend to be a wild animal and start drinking out of toilets.
2. I used to have this thing for crapping in closets. Once my wife caught me taking a huge steamer over all of her clothes and she threw me out of the house and didn’t let me back in until morning.
3. I became an Atheist one time after drinking a quart of Vodka and went into a Christian chatroom pretending to be the devil, declaring that everyone inside were ‘faggots’, ‘harloting liars’ and ‘potential bum rapists’.
4. I had no qualms about urinating on other people’s property. One time my buddy Lithman gave me a lift home and I just whipped out my nozzle and started urinating in the back seat of his car. Christ, I was worse than a damn hobo back then.
5. I loved shoplifting when under the influence too. Only I wouldn’t steal expensive items. I’d normally just end up stealing 10, 30 cent candy bars. Either way, theft is theft under God’s eyes and there’s absolutely no excuse for it.