Your best option is just quit altogether and stop associating with people who love alcohol. Social drinkers are terrible people who hate others who drink less and therefore reveal the true extent of their alcoholism. That’s why these people get hostile when you aren’t drinking fast enough. It’s not because they are angry at you as such, it’s because they are alarmed at what losers they truly are underneath.

Stay cool and keep to the Cokes. If anyone tries to put any liquor into your drink then be sure to report them to the police as this as bad as putting horse tranquilizer into someone’s glass.

You need to contact the person you offended immediately and apologize to them profusely until either your or their ears are bleeding. After this you must swear never to take another drink ever again. It helps if you pray to Jesus with this bit as it makes it into a solemn oath.

Be sure to relive what you’ve done in your mind over and over again just to squeeze every last bit of shame out of your drunken exploits. Don’t believe your friends accounts of events as they’ll likely make you out to be a legend for urinating in some old ladies garden whilst pissed on draught beer.

All you can do is live out and have a grilled cheese sandwich, but hey that’s life for you!