Well the last thing you wanna do is take another drink as that’s a sure fire sign of an alcoholic.

drunk-shame

You need to contact the person you offended immediately and apologize to them profusely until either your or their ears are bleeding. After this you must swear never to take another drink ever again. It helps if you pray to Jesus with this bit as it makes it into a solemn oath.

Be sure to relive what you’ve done in your mind over and over again just to squeeze every last bit of shame out of your drunken exploits. Don’t believe your friends accounts of events as they’ll likely make you out to be a legend for urinating in some old ladies garden whilst pissed on draught beer.

All you can do is live out and have a grilled cheese sandwich, but hey that’s life for you!